BIG HEARTED BOB’S 

AUCTION BLOCK BEVERAGE   

Makes You Buy Cheap as well as Deep 

and Sell Well

The Chosen Beverage of Champion Car Buyers

After decades of research and development, this beverage has been scientifically proven by independent  laboratories to cause car buyers to rob (purchase at an advantageous price) cars at auction.  It takes five to thirty minutes to take effect (depending on individual metabolism rates and what the consumer was up to the night prior to auction).   

Warning:  Limit one per auction as overdose may cause the user to insult sellers and auctioneers which could cause retaliation, justifiable in court (depending on jurisdiction)

Second Warning:  In some cases users have bought merch so cheap that they got promoted and the new job description did not include going to the auction, in other words, they had to stay in jail all week (the dealership).  Consider yourself forewarned and I accept no legal responsibility for the consequences (because you know getting out of the retail showroom one to two days a week in like getting a furlough from jail.  You can BS somebody else, but not the Maestro of Manheim)

Contains, electrolytes, carbon filtered radiator fluid (to cool you down), and rationality vitamins commonly used to protect yourself from Post-Sale Prevention insanity (this allows a molecule of common sense to enter the process)

Should be available in the next few weeks depending on beuracratic red tape,

You gonna love it,

Robert Hollenshead