Make no mistake, this is no April Fool’s practical joke.  It looks like we are going to have 800 units this Friday.  I am trying not to brag, being a very humble individual that I am, but this is ridiculous.  I feel like Noah, of Noah’s Arc fame and fortune. 

The difference is Noah had two of each, I got 50,70,90 of each.  200 when it comes to Toyota and Lexus.  90 when it comes to Audi and Porsche (you heard that right, 90 not 9, 90, all trades, no made up flunkies, trades), 100 BMW, Mercedes, trades, not lease hogs that flunked the shop.  90 Subys, Nissans and Infinities, trades, not reshuffled auction slugs.  90 low mile Domestics of all types including a Ford Truck parade. A pile of VWs with low miles.  20 Rovers, 20 Volvos, 150 mileage challenged imports and 50 mile challenged Domestics.

Go to Pre-sales at Manheim, Pa.  Sort By Hollenshead.  There are 610 tonight, by 8AM tomorrow, 720, by 7PM tomorrow, 800.  When you look at this run, match it against any auction in the country.  We have more by a multiple of ten low mile, fat, desirable units or I’ll kiss a crocodile square on the mouth. 

All the bull we listen to about cars being scarce, that’s April Fools.  The only Fool for this April is the knuckle-head that misses this run of insane merch.  This is definitely no April’s Fool joke, we have the cars, they are in 23 at 9AM, lane 22 at noon, and lane 5 at 11:45.  No hype needed, this load of hamburgers are unique to the wholesale world.  Only here in the 17545, and in our lanes.  They will all be sold, my name and my word is on that fact.

So lean back, yawn, copy and paste these units into your vAuto buying profile.  I did the heavy lifting, you do the plucking.  Be my guest in our lanes.  And if that ain’t good enough go bid on slugs somewhere else, see how your luck is and when there is a fart in the trunk, call the seller to see what kind of guarantee you get.  It’s called the bums shuffle.  See how often they tell you to bring the bitch back, and that includes institutional sellers.  Give it a whirl, let me know how that conversation goes. 

You see, I know about things like that.  I also know that if you can’t buy with confidence in my lanes, I become just another share cropper that you play Russian Roulette with.  I look at it in simple terms because as you cats know, you got to be simple minded to bring 800 cars to an auction thinking you going to sell them all.  The reason I know I am going to is because of you.  Your trust in me and my merch.  If you feel schmeaked you got my number.  Try that on in any other arena or with any other seller. 

If you dispute it by now and are alive paying minimal attention, the historic statistics prove you wrong, The Maestro of Manheim is the largest volume single point car dealer in North America, of any kind.  Longo Toyota is in second place, but definitely in the rear view mirror.  We sold 3,186 units last month right here in Manheim, from our little toilet, I mean dealership, for the month, not year, month.  Every one of them pinched, extracted,  like a dentist ripping out a wisdom tooth… just for you.

Robert Hollenshead

Founder and President

R. Hollenshead Auto Sales Inc.

1373 Lancaster Road - Manheim, PA 17545

e-mail: bob@buybooktech.com