Market Conditions Commentary
If we could only bottle Friday, turn it into a movie, we’d have a nominee…and winner for an Oscar. The category would be: Most Simulacast Action at an Auction…Ever. Thank you God
by Robert Hollenshead
Feb 26 2012 10:18AM
Was anybody watching?  It was nuts from bell to bell.  The regular sale sputters out around noon and goes to nothing but if you were watching  22 at 2PM, I couldn’t see what I was selling as the crowd was so thick the cars disappeared.  Wild.  This is why God created an auction (and simulcast).  He knew it would be the only way to sell cars.  Even though he didn’t invent a car until recently, He knew it would pan out to be the most efficient and serious way to get ‘er dun.  God was right.  Regardless of which God you adhere to, please thank him for letting us use this methodology of cashing metal into money.  I am in the process of tithing as we speak to show my gratitude.

You see, God does know all.  He also knows that letting merch lay around and go moldy is a sin.  He knows that in order to multiply something you got to move, fast.  Letting things lay around causes paralysis from analysis.  Over thinking anything guarantees a point blank murder of what should happen from instinct.

A building (or any cyber location, size and physical location are irrelevant),  an auctioneer, and merch owned by a trusted, vetted seller with his balls on the block using his own money  (and therefore the merch is ready, logically arranged, and actually for sale, not there for appraisal and willing to sell at market value) are the ingredients for an auction with God as the arbiter.  All of the emotions that He has endowed us with, good and bad, are exposed for all to see.  All of these traits are innate.  Some are admirable, and others repulsive.  But the auction exposes them all.  Live competition, a winner and a loser, intestinal fortitude or heart.  At what point is a player unable to continue?  How much will does he have, how does he react under stress, pain, hot, cold, longevity, uncontrollable incompetency, and playing on a field tilted upward against logic.  All when God has blessed you with the fruits that make it a game you no longer need to participate in.

God did something tricky.  He made the action at the auction addictive.  Sanjay Gupta had a show on CNN today on addiction and what part of your brain is affected.  In Cuba, the great scientific community of the world, they have developed a process to remove the part of your brain that Sanjay Gupta shows scientifically that causes addiction.  I think this may be my only cure.  An appointment and visit to Havana to rip that part of my brain out, cause short of that, I selling at an auction to get my fix.  I need more now than ever.  Three or four hours ain’t enough.  Before number 250 I feel like we are just in batting practice.  Swinging hard, but the game is still up for grabs.  It seems like the endorphins start really kicking in around number 400, or five hours into a sale (it’s crazy but I looked up at the screen at 12:00 PM to see when my cars were coming through lane 6 and they were on number 100, lane 22 was on number 365.  Why is that?  How is that possible?  Why would anyone think that this is how God designed an auction.  In my opinion, it is the work of the devil or a great Marxist plot to destroy Gods creation).

I started the sale at 8:55AM and ended the sale at 3:32 PM.  I sold 97% of the units that hit the block and the other 3% before 5PM (had to borrow a car to get home, no gas in it and I felt like a retard.  Me riding home in a borrowed junk is like a real estate developer renting a section 8 house to live in.  I don’t mind as I got over the ego problem of having to drive a Ferrari or life isn’t worth living a few decades ago).

This week we sold everything.  622 in total for the week which rounded out February at 2,467 sold and we hit the 3,000,000th unit completed on Trade in Marketplace. The only place I see a weak market is where there is a glut of lease pigs.  Honda, BMW, Mercedes mud mile, mud color, mud VHR, 08,09 10 mud units.  They remain sale-proof (unless I have them, then they are getting sold anyway).  Everything else is stronger than hogs breath.  The Mid-west to Colorado seems to be the hottest market.  We are seeing new buyers, not sissys, buyers, coming in trying to load trucks, not pick one-sees two-sees like a three year old looking at a plate full of peas.

Public announcement:  I have set the dogs loose.  Any unit that is for sale in the free market that looks like a car, that ain’t a lease return, that hasn’t flunked somebodies shop, that is in any way possible to be described as a fat unit, I am buying it.  Price is irrelevant.  I’ll ley God’s creation figure that part out.  He did his part, now I’m doing mine, Merch.  I will have it.  It will be sold.  There will be no other location in North America to have more, sell more, at a higher percentage and with my word on it.  If you trust me, you can’t get, ------well, you know what. 

In the spare time our Condition Report is in Beta testing and Bid-Nez is only a few months away.  Both of these products will rock your world and put you on much more level ground.  I’m sick of watching us play upgrade.  No fair, and it is about to change, or I’ll die trying.

Thanks God, Allah, Buddha.  I deeply appreciate the creation.  I have no idea how we would sell them all, ever time, and have all participants leave so happy, without it.  It’s kind of like the eighth wonder of the world, Machu Picchu, the Amazon river, Iguaçu, Gandhi, Marx, Fidel, Yamoussoukro, all wrapped up into one, a live auction.  A work of Art that will never be re-created with any other means.  The rest of the products will always look like Elvis Presley pastel velour portraits, retarded.

Smoke that one.