|
A car ain’t nothing but a bag of money
by
Robert Hollenshead
Jan 19 2012 7:35PM
A car ain’t nothing but a bag of money.
When we think about it, a car ain’t nothing but a bag of money. They are bags of money with wheels. Would you leave a bag of money laying around? How about on the street? Maybe at an Auction? Think about this and put it in perspective. On an average day I got 1,200 bags of money laying around. Most on an auction lot. My wife asks me why I don’t sleep so good. She tells me I seem little worried. Why don’t you settle down and relax? I tell my sweet Peruvian jewel, that has the patience of a saint and the wisdom of Confucious, let me just sell through this week and I’ll be fine. Thanks for making me aware of the fact that I have a bit of an edge on (I seem fine to me).
Only you guys and girls, those of us smitten by this gambler degenerate gene that is a prerequisite to be in our business, would understand. Since the only people that come to this site belong to our hapless crew, we can say things that others don’t know or care about. We do.
I was thinking about this the other night in my sleep.
We have bags of money with wheels stacked up as if they are nothing. $20,000 in this bag, $50,000 in that bag…on and on and on. Merch (bags) laying around everywhere. Collecting and sucking up dirt, starting to stink, buff marks popping back through, compound dripping back out of the moldings, wheels oxidizing from the wheel acid, pin stripe curling up on its end, airbag sagging on one side, Nav disc stole, key stole and gutted or on eBay, head rests stole, roof rack ends stole and on national back order (that’s why they got stole, no need to even call), getting binged and scratch, and we go through this torture with great zeal and dedication. Are we goofy or what?
Don’t you feel just a little retarded when you are riding down the road, three hours into the highway and finally realize the radio ain’t on. You been talking to yourself about the last stop, the 39 arbs from yesterday’s sale, the title they just screwed at the dealership that may take God to sign the POA to get the dupe, how the trucker picked up someone from services car instead of the one you bought and you already doing body work …on a car you don’t own. It don’t make much sense, does it?
I recently picked up a car by mistake at a friend of mine's Nissan dealership. It fell into my black hole. The black hole here is any bag of money on wheels that hits my property. The bitch is getting sold automatically. Unfortunately, in this case it was a service customer's car. He just wanted his oil changed. Instead he got his tag in the trash, de-dinged and put on 22-124, and sold . While I was on the block I was screaming at my dear right hand, Hector , "where the F--- did this car come from? How much did I pay?" Hector looks at me as always and tells the truth, "I don’t know Bob."
My immediate response is as always…"SELL THAT BITCH'. It was a 2009 Altima, fat as could be and I’m getting $1,500 over MMR. I don’t care where it came from at that point. I got to be making something on it, we’ll figure it out later. We did. The service customer wanted an oil change. Not a new car. Thank God I snatched this little baby from a good friend that owns the dealership. We laughed for an hour and he called the customer to let him know he was selected to get an amazing trade on his car. The guy came in and left with a new car, not an oil change.
This isn’t funny to the guy on the street, but I know you are laughing your tuckus off right now.
What type of loony bird would do this? Look in the mirror. If you are reading this, it’s you Daddy-O. But don’t feel pregnant. I’m right here with you. Like it or not, big or small, and no matter where you are from…I Love You.
So the next time you see a big bag of money laying around, think of me. I have 500 bags of money pinched , primped and ready for you cats tomorrow. Stop in on simulcast or better yet, bring your person to the 17545 tomorrow. Watch me handle those bags, I mean cars tomorrow.
Have fun and sell well,
The self-appointed, no longer disputed, statistically chiseled in granite,
Maestro of Manheim.
|