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When a lane goes dark.
by
Robert Hollenshead
Nov 4 2011 11:04PM
When a lane goes dark.
Simulcast is now as important to me as air. Today was the proof.
Today we were packed and ready for a monster sale to break out of a six week malaise of a lack luster no spark market. It started off for the first few hundred banging. We have never seen more simulcast action with multiple bids from everywhere except the moon on damn near every car. Then we sucked into a black hole, simulcast shut down with a server problem.
There is now way to describe what it feels like to go out and flip every rock, kiss every ass, drag them in, get them ready, primp them to a tee, and at the moment that you have 300 remote bidders plus a room pack full of buyers, the internet goes down, black, nada, the party is over, the internet bidders are gone and ain’t coming back. It was down for two hours. The definition of frustration without compensation.
In my world it’s the equivalent to having the pay per view go out on a Ali-Frazer fight and you are the promoter, or a Super Bowl that a plane crashed on the 50 yard line during the coin toss, or your only daughter’s wedding getting knocked out by a tsunami…or all of the above combined. Ten million dollars of tits-up cars lined up and ready, selling like there ain’t no tomorrow and a giant fart fills the room, done, over, kaput.
We had a run of units today that may never be seen again at one place at one time and got defecated on. These cars that I have every week do not fall out of the sky. There ain’t some secret place that we go to and order them. They don’t fall off a truck from factory even though it seems like they do. This is bell to bell, dark when we leave, dark when we get home, ball busting work. Extracting these babies, one by one, to accumulate this variety and quality of merch is next to impossible. That’s why nobody else can do it.
There is no other place on earth, bar none, that has these cars in one place at one time, desirable merch, not re-shuffled auction slop, not super shined re-vinned, de- dinged lease returns, not picked over third level factory pigs, not shop flunked 60 day smoked up stinking no sales from some dopey bid lot…….but trade-ins. Those things that are of a thing of the past that no other auction in the world has. Cars that are extracted one by one by ass kissing, eat humble pie, get insulted, old fashioned street pounding, nobody else has the tenacity to do, laser check writing, floor planning the New car dealer, kissing a hundred title clerks asses for my titles 30 days after I paid, it’s the end of the month don’t call back for your $20,000,000 in titles, type of buying.
I sell more cars on simulcast than any four dealers in the country combined. I love . Dealers trust and love it. It is our future. Not listing cars on a static site to sell 4%. What halfwit would do it. Simulcast can sell 100% for real market value on the spot, next case, do it again, now. Simulcast rules. Simulcast for President ( I endorse Joe George for President. Hey Joey, can I be your campaign chief of staff? I promise not to use auction language on camera). And I was on the way today to sell everything on simulcast…when I fell in a black hole, it turned off. At that\at second with 400 more cars to sell, it was crystal clear, without simulcast I am exactly like a Pony Express rider. Old . Worn out. Living in memories. Out of style. Thinking about the “Good Old Days”.
For me, it is simulcast or bust. This simulcast break down cost me a good $200,000 clean in net. Why? Because I am a psychotic, auction addicted, the bitch is on the block and I got a crowd so I’m selling, last of the Mohican, dying if not already dead breed professional wholesale professional. I wouldn’t retail a car for a $20,000 profit for any reason even if God asked me to do him a favor of his one and only Son because I won’t pimp my profession for nobody, ever, and I am selling on the block with simulcast at my side (as long as they keep it on. How can that happen. I think it may have been sabotage). Maybe somebody was on the floor and wanted to buy and had the skill set to blow up simulcast in my lane. After all we are car dealers, it isn’t impossible. They may know me well enough to know that I am selling no matter what. The rabid dog is selling. Cut the competition on simulcast off and you have a better chance to buy.
This was painful today. I sold a Audi R8 for $92,500 that a guy offered me $99,000 yesterday. I had a string of Rovers that just can’t be found, every one required an ass kissing routine to buy, and had to hide from phone calls all day yesterday from all over the world not to sell, a string of Lexus, a string of BMW, a string of Audis, a string of Mercedes, a string of exportables, a string of good domestic trash, a string of miles challenged, but fat trash, a string of impossible to find cheap Hondas and Toyotas…………….AND THE SIMULCAST GOES DOWN…………WITH 300 dealers logged in but can’t bid. Buddy, if you ever been in jail you’ll understand, that’s like going to the visiting room and having your gorgeous wife (Sally Rottencrotch) telling you she just can’t wait no longer so she will be selling your car and leaving you with your best friend (the cat you didn’t testify against so you went down for him), but you can’t get through the glass to show your appreciation. I am not trying to be dramatic, that’s the market wrap for today. Just seven days before the Marine Corps Birthday ( no relevance to this rant but just a reminder to myself that things could be worse. I could be living with my ex-wife or be on Parris Island in boot camp again, so there are circumstances that could be worse, but they are the only two I can think of that would be worse, but it’s close).
Just a quick public announcement. I will have 700 units this coming week. Even though I am worn out, 100% pace-maker dependent (that’s from my second clocking), need to be clocked for the third time, I can promise you I am already wound up for next week. I’m so pissed about today the adrenalin is already pumping just sitting here talking to myself how am I going to act normal for the next six days until we get back in the arena. I’m ready to rumble now.
I hope everybody sells good this week because I can make your job easy next week buying. I’ll do the ass kissing, make all the fake compliments, beg for titles from the nasty title clerks for units I wrote a laser check for the second I buy them, truck them with temperamental truckers, clean them with the hardest working animals on earth (my guys, I really do love them), CR them, re-clean them and get on the block to sell them to you. All you got to do is say I DO. So use your brain, tune in on simulcast(hopefully it will be working week cause if it ain’t I’m having a stroke) lane 11 Thursday 350 units and 22 and 6 Friday 400 units. I promise you, if you are bidding, you will be buying. Trades, that I own, that ain’t re-shuffled auction slugs, or “REP” units, or story units. Trades that are getting sold.
Sorry for the tirade but this was near a Olympic Gold Metal record frustrating day at the sale.
Sell Well
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